Doggy Knows Best

DOGGY KNOWS BEST. My friend Melissa was scheduled leave for Italy early tomorrow morning to meet “The Man of her Dreams”. She met Luigi online. They had been talking for over 6 months. Last week Luigi fed exed her Italian wine and pastries. She called it her turning point, and immediately booked a ONE WAY ticket to Milan. So she comes over really upset , because her new puppy got hold of her passport and chewed it into pieces. Not even two shots of Patron calmed her down. She was inconsolable. Than she gets a call from Italy, and it’ s Luigi’s wife, warning her not to come, or else. The morale to this story, Doggy knows best . Melissa quit her international online dating account and is taking her puppy to Playful Doggy Camp this weekend in Carlsbad. Her puppy’s name is TRUTH.


A visitation from Grandma? aka Fanagui?

Spooky moment. I was at a Korean Spa cashing in on a massage gift certificate from a certain lactose intolerant client. I entered the steam room and I heard a woman’s warm and loving voice say . ” Hi Al! ” The voice of the woman eerily resembled the voice of my grandmother. What doubled my trouble is only my grandmother, who transitioned ten years ago, called me AL, and the steam room was over scented with lavender , my grandma’ s favorite flower. The steamer turned off and I decided stay put so that I could see who called out to me. As the steam began to dissipate, I discovered that the steam room was completely empty. Got the chills , lept to my feet. Almost slipped, but caught myself , and darted out the door.. ( is this Fanagui? ) Still processing…..

Thirteen hula hoops in Silver Lake

Attempted to go to a party in Silverlake tonight. I drove around for 40 minutes and could not find a place to park. Finally I decided to fork out $15. bucks for some cheesey valet service called PIZZA VALET at a nearby restaurant. I found a very long and steep flight of stairs leading to the party destination, when suddenly a very tall and super modelesqe woman jumps out of the bushes. In her right hand she gripped tightly a small polka dotted can of spay mace.
“I”m scared she said. ” Can you please walk me up the stairs. Look how dark and creepy it looks. ” I extended my right elbow, she placed her left arm in my right arm as we began our ascent.
” Do you live around here? ”
” No ” I said. ” I’m going to a party. Wanna come with?|
” No” she replied. “I”m visiting my boyfriend.”
We get to the top of the stairs and I ask her.
” Why didn’t you call or text your boyfriend to walk you up the stairs?
She looked at me quizzically and said.
” Because he just had knee surgery” than she ran off. Then I went to the party. There were very few people and the music was lousy. Like bad lounge music one might find in Cape Town in the sixties. I texted my colleagues Chris and Andrew. ” “Don’t even bother” I texted ” The party is under stimulating, the music sucks, and there is no where to park” . When I left the party, I realized I was at the WRONG PARTY! So I went to the correct apartment. The front door was wide open. I entered and spotted a freshly opened bottle of Grey Goose Vodka in a bucket of pink ice cubes. Countless bottles of expensive liquor sat upon the counter. I looked around, but there was no one there, but the music was great, so I lingered, and I looked around the apartment. I spotted two brand new iPhones and a new Mac Power Book. But still there was no one in sight. . So I sit there and think, ” Dang if I were a bandit thief, I would be a king right now|, but I’m not a bandit thief, so let’s not go there. So I notice 13 hula hoops in the apartment. Thats when I realized I was in the right place, because the host of the party, well his girlfriend lives in Berlin and is a famous hula hoop artists. Too bad cuz I was really looking forward to meeting her. . But still no guests?
So I left and went to a grilled cheese sandwich at a place called The Grilled Cheese Sandwich shop on Sunset blvd. As I ate my delicious grilled cheese sandwich on sourdough, I realized I went through all of this inconvenience to experience this supreme moment of comfort. Here I am eating an incredible grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup, and it’s then I realize that the 13 hula hoops were a citation to my friend Melinda who passed away last year. She always had 13 pairs of ear rings. If she bought a new pair, she would give one pair away before she brought the new pair home. She loved the number 13. It was her favorite number, and she used to make the the best grilled cheese sandwiches on cold winter days when I lived in Santa Monica. So than I stop at the liquor store, and a very hipster and very codependent couple , seemingly attached at the hip, like Coach Pete and Russell Wilson, are in a serious argument about what wine to bring to a party. At the counter the guy looks at his fuming girlfriend and says.
” You mad bro? ”
” Yeah, I’m mad bro! Cuz we shoulda just bought that hula hoop! It cost half the price of this wine!| I didn’t say anything. Didn’t want to get involved.

Dad and the Blessed Mary aka the significance of ritual

My first experience with ritual and it’s meaning and importance was at a very young age. I used to watch my father every morning, he would kiss an image of La Virgen De Guadalupe before going to work.. The gold framed image was prominently displayed atop an elegant chest of drawers. The thing is, before kissing the image of Blessed Mary, he would apply a thick dose of chapstick to his lips. After 30 days the framed of image of Blessed Mary was covered with a thick and hardened layer of chapstick. So think that you couldn’t see her clearly. . So I would sneak into my parents room and carefully scrape off the chapstick, on the first day of every month.

An affirmation of twin telepathy aka escaping Sisyphus cycle

So the other day, I was having an internal imaginary, conversation with my grandma, who transitioned to the next life ten years ago. Work addiction is my affliction, and this did not go unnoticed by my grandma, who used to say things like ” Honey you work so much you’re gonna be the richest man in the cemetery! ” or ” Al, if you win the rat race, you’re still a rat.” She kept me in check. I was ending my conversation with my grandma in this dark quiet corner in an undersized DTLA cafe. Enter, my good friend Joan who immediately noticed the look of peacefulness in my eyes, something I always had when I was around grandma. ” So, what’s shining your light so bright today? ” she asked me. Than I looked into the mirror, and out of the blue told Joan.
” I was talking to my grandma, say hi to her”. I told her.
” How can I , when I don’t know her name? she asked.
” Lindy” , I told her. She played along just to keep me in my good mood I suppose.
Than she said ” Hi Lindy. ”
Than at that very moment I checked my i phone because I had just received a text from twin brother, who at that very moment was visiting my grandmother’s grave. Now if that is not twin power, I don’t know what is. I showed it to Joan, and her eyes got so wet, she couldn’t read my new pages. ” Thank you.” she said. ” I needed such an affirmation of connection this morning.” I’m exploring this twin telepathy in my next feature film DYKTWTSJ. These moments are good lessons for me as I continue to WRITE. Was caught up in a bit of a Sisyphus cycle, but this snapped me out of it.

Scarecrow , my second encounter

I just ran into my friend Scarecrow. This tall , rail thin, mid twentyish homeless guy. I immediately noticed that the scars from the cuts on his arms were somehow, even miraculously gone. “Jesus , healed me” , he proclaimed like a mighty lion roaring from the mountain top. I stared in amazement,and disbelief because all the marks from his cutting himself were literally gone. Vanished. In case you didn’t read my previous post about Scarecrow, he left home after tragedy dropped on him like a one ton chunk of iron. He lost his finance and his twin brother in a car accident. At that time he was a budding poet and short story writer. The pain was to much , so he hopped on a greyhound and came to la. ” I always heard about the South Cali sun, he quietly confided in me. ” I showed him a photo of me and my twin brother Joey. “Wow, you got a twin brother! Shyt, man, that makes me feel better bout you. Like I can trust you more now. ” He gave me a gentle fist bump, and with pride handed me a white flyer , that had on it a cross and a huge red heart. ” I want you to come through to this revival we are having tonight.. Jesus wants to see you there. ” I accepted his invitation, as a wry smile crept across his face like caterpillar. ” Will there be a gospel choir there?” I asked. ” Yup yup. Fasho” he told me. You like gospel music? ”
” Yeah, it’s the one genre of music that really makes me feel something deep.”
” I feel you” scared Scarecrow. Than he pulled out two chrome crosses he had buried under his five layers of soiled shirts. ” See this? Me and my twin brother, we had these identical crosses, I never take these off. ”
” I understand ” I said.
” You ‘ll understand me even more if you come to the revival tonight” , he said excitedly. Than he received a text.
” I gotta run bro. I gotta help set up chairs. Be there or be square.” He cheerfully yelled as he ran a circle around me and darted off across the street against a red light. He had a new found bounce in his step . Not sure if I will go to the revival tonight, but I rather Scarecrow find Jesus than drugs, that is something I know for certain.