Weird pre meal ritual makes me flee the dinner table

I was hanging out without with a female colleague of mine. She was going on and on about this guy she’s been seeing. How he is a borderline psychotic, a bad dresser, has pimples on his face, and how he should have his degree by now. Anyhow, she’s going on and on complaining about him. Than she calls him to join us for dinner. He sits down and she giggles. Than she turns to me and asks ” Would you like to participate in our pre meal ritual? I have some hand sanitizer just for the occasion.” She handed me the bottle. I went by my instinct , and the word ” No” raced out of my mouth faster then speed racer on his final lap. She gently placed a dollop of hand sanitizer in the guy she supposedly loathes hands , and then some in hers, and they start laughing and rubbing their hands until the hand santizer evaporates. Than they started sucking each others index fingers simultaneously while giggling like little elves. I’m staring at them in disbelief and the stunned waiter drops the plate of appetizers meant for our table. By the time they finished I was out the door. Strange but true. I keep thinking about that delicious plate of hot fresh calamari spread out all over the black and white checkered floor. Dayum.doritosad

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