Teriyaki trouble

My producing partner has a really bad habit of bringing a mini bottle of Teriyaki sauce to restaurants and slathering anything he orders with it. Today we had a very important lunch meeting with a very important funder from Paris. We took her out to eat at a very upscale and top notch Italian restaurant. The funder Gigi, was mortified when my producing partner pulled his mini bottle of Teriyaki sauce from of his new and stylish Tumi back pack and sprinkled Teriyaki sauce all over his Fettuccine Alfredo. Minutes later, Gigi almost fainted when he poured more Teriyaki sauce all over his Creme Bulee. The lunch meeting was abruptly ended. She asked to speak to me privately.
” I will make a contribution to your film project. But I will never in the world dine with your producing partner ever again . Not here, not in Paris, not in Berlin. No where. The check will be in the mail on Monday. And tell that imbecile to get it together. ” She hopped in her limo and drove off. I turned around and my producing partner was drinking the last of the terriyaki sauce from his bottle. I shook my head as he discarded the empty bottle into the trash can.
” Why are you tripping he asked? Is she on board?”
I just shook my head and said.
” Yeah , she’s on . Let’s go have coffee and talk.”
” Can we go to Rite Aid first? I”m out of Teriyaki sauce.”Kikkoman_Teriyaki_9247

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Angels in Los Angeles

The last story I posted suggested the possibility that angels are always among us. Well, if this following story is not an affirmation of that , than I don’t know what is. A few nights ago I went to a Korean spa to sweat out this stubborn cold I have had for a few days now. I Brought 3 gallons of electrolyte water to keep myself hydrated. I was so relaxed when I left the spa that I decided to walk my new expensive mountain bike to the metro station. I crossed a street that was particularly dark because the street light was out. Suddenly a huge black truck, with a super cab, pulls up and two guys come at me with baseball bats in their hands. I knew I could not out run them so I rolled my bike at them to slow them down. My bike was my only defense. One of the guys knocked the bike down, while a third guy jumped from truck, scooped up the bike and threw it in the back the track. Than the first guy , who was twice my size and about half my age …a streak of hot blazing anger in his eyes, pinned me against the cyclone fence.
” Give me your back pack Bitch.”
He demanded. I kicked him in the shin and told him. He tried hard to rip the back pack from my body, but I refused to let go. I knew he could not strike me with his bat because he threw it down to grab me with both his hands.
“Hell no.’ I replied. Than I shouted for help. And my voice reached people living in the tall apartment across the empty lot.
The first guy threw me back against the fence when suddenly a woman in a parked car on the street starts HONKING her car repeatedly. A guy came out on his balcony and yelled.
” I”m calling the police!.”
Suddenly the three guys jump back into the truck and race off. But not before I ran to the middle of the street and memorized their license plate.. The woman who honked her horn invited me to sit in her car. I noticed a rosary with Ruby Red Rosary beads swinging back and forth as if the tail of a giant grandfather clock.
” I’m ANGELa” She extended her hand. I grabbed her hand , and it had a strange yet comforting warmth to it. . She saw me staring at the rosary.
” Are you Catholic?” she asked
” I was raised Catholic, but never got confirmed. ”
” I didn’t get confirmed either” She offered me some left over Christmas cookies in the shapes of Angels, Bells, and Holly Leafs.
“No thanks”. I said. ” I think you are my angel today.”
” Well I’m just glad that you are not hurt. The only reason why I was parked here is because my mom called me and I don’t like talking while driving. Especially with my mom. Imagine getting in a car accident while your cell phone is on and your mother is on the other end. ”
The police arrived, and took my report. My recollection of the license plate matched Angela’s, so I hope they catch these guys.
But than I realized the word ANGEL is built into ANGELA.
Regarding the back pack. It was not because I had my i Phone and wallet in my in the bottom pocket, that made defend it like a mad man. Every day I go somewhere with a bag, I place a good luck charm in it. Usually it is something meaningful a family member or close friend has given me. That night I had in my back pack a necklace my father made me. He gave it to me as a good luck and protective charm. The necklace has a football on it, an angel, a cross, a squirrel and a camera. I did not whant this guy to have this very special gift my father gave me. I have a strange brain, when I experience these intense moments of crisis, everything slows down for me. While pinned against the fence I told myself.
“I am not going to die. I may get hurt and may have to be hospitalized but tonight I will not die. How can God be ready for me? The Raiders haven’t won another Super Bowl and I have not finished shooting my feature film , which actually explores the omniprescence of Angels. That was when Angela started honking her horn. Ok, time to go to the used bike store. Wishing you all a healthy, happy and prosperous New year!angels