The funder and the filet.

Very awkward moment tonight. A very affluent funder took me to dinner at a super ritzy restaurant in Berlin to hear my pitch for my next feature film. She insisted on ordering me her favorite entre…

Source: My funder and the chicken filets

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My funder and the chicken filets

Alex C. Muñoz

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Very awkward moment tonight. A very affluent funder took me to dinner at a super ritzy restaurant in Berlin to hear my pitch for my next feature film. She insisted on ordering me her favorite entree . Two chicken filets in a special buttery secret sauce. It tasted terrible. Like rose petals mixed with licorice and spoiled cheese. I mean the presentation was great, but the chicken smelled and tasted rancid. Lucky for me my funder received an important call on her cell phone (they call it a HANDY in Germany) She went out side to take the call. In most of Europe it is considered very rude to talk on your handy in a restaurant. While my funder was outside on the phone, I quickly rummaged through my gear pack and emptied my transparent pen/ pencil pouch . I stuffed the two chicken breast filets in the zip lock…

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My funder and the floor bound filets.

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Very awkward moment tonight. A very affluent funder took me to dinner at a super ritzy restaurant in Berlin to hear my pitch for my next feature film. She insisted on ordering me her favorite entree . Two chicken filets in a special buttery secret sauce. It tasted terrible. Like rose petals mixed with licorice and spoiled cheese. I mean the presentation was great, but the chicken smelled and tasted rancid. Lucky for me my funder received an important call on her cell phone (they call it a HANDY in Germany) She went out side to take the call. In most of Europe it is considered very rude to talk on your handy in a restaurant. While my funder was outside on the phone, I quickly rummaged through my gear pack and emptied my transparent pen/ pencil pouch . I stuffed the two chicken breast filets in the zip lock pen pouch and shoved it back into my gear pack just before she arrived. I was relieved. But I forgot to zip my gear pack shut, and moments later the clumsy waiter bumped into the chair next to me and out popped the zip lock pen pouch with the two chicken filets in it! My funder glared at me and said in a very thick German accent.
” I’m deducting 10 percent of my contribution for each discarded filet. I am so disappointed you at you right now Alexander! ” I was speechless and felt bloated with embarrassment. Than she started laughing and said.
” Don’t worry darling. Order something else, and of course I will give you the contribution you asked for. But next time YOU pay for dinner.”
” By all means of course Frau Mehrblum! ” ‪#‎Hustle‬&Grind!

Siri loves Opera

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I underestimated Siri’s intelligence. While attending the Opera in Berlin  last night I discretely asked Siri the name of the Aria being performed.  I was merely testing her. I meant to turn the volume down , so as to just read her answer, but I accidentally turned the volume up. Suddenly the Aria ended and Siri announced the correct name of the Aria, and everyone gave me dirty looks…Lesson learned!

The Chocolate Lab and Hermes Scarf

……SPRING ist jetzt angekommen

Alex C. Muñoz

Was in an elevator when an elderly gentleman entered. There was a somber aura about him. His very friendly chocolate lab had a colorful Hermes scarf wrapped around it’s neck. I laughed and asked the man.
” Uh, is that a Hermes scarf around your dog’s neck?”
Than the man started crying .
” Are you ok?” I asked him.
” Forgive me. My wife passed away two days ago.” I quickly rummaged through my mind for the word CONDOLENCES in German, but could not find it. I was lost in my vault of faulty German vocabulary and my tongue turned into a sad stone.
” The scarf that Ellie wears around her neck, was my wife’s favorite scarf, and she wore it all the time. When she died, Ellie pulled it out of the closet and laid on it for the whole day.”
The elevator door opened, and Ellie…

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The Chocolate Lab and Hermes Scarf

Was in an elevator when an elderly gentleman entered. There was a somber aura about him. His very friendly chocolate lab had a colorful Hermes scarf wrapped around it’s neck. I laughed and asked the man.
” Uh, is that a Hermes scarf around your dog’s neck?”
Than the man started crying .
” Are you ok?” I asked him.
” Forgive me. My wife passed away two days ago.” I quickly rummaged through my mind for the word CONDOLENCES in German, but could not find it. I was lost in my vault of faulty German vocabulary and my tongue turned into a sad stone.
” The scarf that Ellie wears around her neck, was my wife’s favorite scarf, and she wore it all the time. When she died, Ellie pulled it out of the closet and laid on it for the whole day.”
The elevator door opened, and Ellie , the chocolate lab put her front right paw on my left leg. Her beautiful glossy mahogany eyes stared into mine.
” She wants you to join us for our walk , would you like to?”
” Yeah, sure” I replied , as Ellie wagged her tail. We went walking through the park and noticed the new Spring leaves budding from the dark bare branches.
” I’m glad Spring is here.” said the man.
” Me too. ” I said as Ellie ran after a goose.Labrador_Retriever_chocolate_Hershey_sit_(cropped)

Hemispherical Disorientation

Alex C. Muñoz

My colleague Lila Streichsand, who is an American artist living in Berlin, woke up to four polaroid photos sprawled across her bed when she woke up this morning. They were photos showing the chaotic messes she left in the kitchen, living room, bathroom, and on the balcony. Her new roommate, Helmut is bothy hyper furious and annoyed by her piles of assorted notes, drawings, note pads and clothing scattered all over the place. She was so upset about waking up to these photos she called me in her rage , so I agreed to meet with her for a late morning coffee break.
“OMG! ” she exclaimed. “I am way to self aware to deal with this crap. Helmut is so unconscious , and it is so painfully obvious that he wants to sleep with me! ”
” I think he just wants you to be neater.” I told her.

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