The Christmas Candle and the fragility of life…

Christmas candle bokehLast week one of my former FYI FILMS students was shot. His mother called me at 1 AM and I rushed to the hospital. As I entered the emergency room, I noticed a flickering Christmas candle on the counter of the central nurse’s station. The mother of my student grabbed my hand and led me into the room. She gripped my hand so hard my hand began to fall asleep. My student was hanging on for dear life. He was in severe pain and had all kinds of multi colored tubes connected to his arms. He immediately recognized me and I told him . ” Rest. You need to rest.” You mean REST IN PEACE he asked. ” No, just rest…so your body can heal.” Suddenly his heart stopped and he went unconscious. We were asked to step out of the tiny room while they attempted to revive him. His mother began to weep uncontrollably as her left hand clutched tightly onto a beautiful Rosary made of ruby colored beads. I held all my emotions in so as to be strong for her. Tried my best to comfort her, but inside I feared the worse. As I held tightly onto her hand I noticed the flickering Christmas Candle went out. Above the candle hovered a cloud of smoke which assumed the shape of an Angelic figure with eagle like wings. Suddenly we heard gasps of air. My student shouted as air exhaled from his lungs. His mother raced into the room and hugged her son. The tracks of her tears dripping down his neck resembled rivers of love, there is nothing in this world like a mother’s love for her children. She looked over at me and signaled for me to enter the room. As I stood at the side of his bed I became overwhelmed with the fragility of life. How in one blink of an eye we can be called to the other side. I looked over at the Christmas candle on the counter. The flame returned to the wick, and danced about as if celebrating my student’s recovery. The past 2 years of my personal life has been loaded with intensely stressful and emotionally charged experiences. Been so focussed on projecting a shield of strength that I have become split off…detached from my own emotions. Unable to show or let any feelings out. But something happened. A trigger point. Later that morning my student’s mother and I went outside , and across the street this DJ store which specialized in selling DJ speakers, played an amazingly moving Gospel Version of ‘Amazing Grace’, and well I just lost it. And it was not a trickle that flowed from my eyes, it was more like the faucet was turned on full blast. Emotions repressed deep inside the hollow crevices of my soul chambers were forced out. All of them. Than it was my students mother who comforted me. We held hands and went to eat a McDonald’s breakfast. Everything tasted so good….and the good cry made my body relaxed , stress free…and I was happy. Happy that my student survived, and happy that we all are given this precious gift called life. We only get one. Around us the staff was quickly putting up Christmas decorations. This is going to be a great Christmas…with Gratitude leading the way……….

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